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When you’re in a relationship, wanting to be your partner’s priority isn’t a bad thing at all. After all, if someone is important, you’re going to do the best you can to keep them in your life and show them how much you value them. The reality is, there will be times when you won’t be your partner’s priority and that’s completely OK. But there is a difference between not being your partner’s priority sometimes and not being a priority at all, and if you feel your circumstances may be the latter, it’s important to look for signs.
They rarely text you or initiate conversation first: As you know, communication is super important for relationships to work. If your partner doesn’t make the effort to communicate with you throughout the day or even the week, that’s a sign that they’re not making time for you. We understand that most people are busy but if you are going weeks without at least a phone call or a text message from someone, then that’s a sign that you are not number one or not even close to that on the priority list. Remember, getting angry at your partner for not texting you all the time can push them away instead of bringing them closer.
They forget to tell you about the important life decisions they’ve made: If your partner is taking important life decisions without thinking about you, that should tell you your relationship is not a priority to them. For example, if your partner brings up the fact that they’re leaving to take on a six-months-long project without consulting you first, your relationship might not have been on their mind when they decided to take the project on. Big decisions like that are something that should be discussed together, especially if it involves one partner being away for a period of time. It’s important to be a supportive partner, but it’s just as important to keep each other in the loop.
They never include you to the family times: Being important in someone’s life means meeting the other people in their life and forming connections with them. One way to tell your partner isn’t making you a priority is if they don’t integrate you into their family. If you’ve been together for a while and have yet to meet anyone important, chances are you aren’t a priority to your partner. So if meeting their family is important, let them know. If they think it’s “too soon” or have any other reasons for not introducing you yet, having a conversation about it can clear the air and help you figure out what their reservations might be.
They don’t take special days seriously: Well, this one is the biggest clue. Everyone is busy, but at the same time if your partner is a priority then you should make time for that person. So if they constantly forget Valentine’s Day, or can’t seem to remember when your anniversary is, that’s a sign you may not be a priority. If special occasions are important to you, be sure to let your partner know that. If you know your partner constantly forgets important dates, setting a calendar reminder on their phone can be helpful.
They make last minute plans: If your partner can plan vacations with friends but not with you, you may not be a priority. If your partner can’t make the effort to make plans with you in advance and keep them, then it’s time to have a discussion about where they see this relationship going.
Lack of physical intimacy: If you’ve noticed that intimacy, either stops or slows way down, that may be a sign your relationship is no longer a priority. A lack of intimacy isn’t limited to the bedroom. If there are no affectionate touches, hand holding, or random kisses, it’s important to be aware. Making time for sex and getting your partner to initiate it more is as simple as scheduling it.
If you’re feeling de-prioritized or neglected in your relationship, it’s always best to discuss this with your partner up front. However, if you have to keep discussing the issue and nothing has changed, then it may be time to move on and find someone who will make you a priority.
