Few It’s when it hovers somewhere in the middle that things get tricky. So check in with yourself, and do some evaluating. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure things out. After all, you love your partner and want things to work out in a good way. But, for some reasons, the relationship just doesn’t feel right. Maybe there are a few seemingly unfixable problems or recurring issues. Maybe you two love each other dearly but just want different things. Whatever the case may be, it totally sucks and the decision process can feel damn near impossible.
There are a million “what ifs,” and even more factors to consider. It’s a tough decision and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly — especially if you’re feeling so 50/50. Read the following signs that might help you to decide.
You’re being abused physically or emotionally: If your spouse pushes, shoves, grabs or hits you for any reason, it’s not worth trying to change them. If this is happening on any level, get out now. Are they being emotionally abusive? If your partner tells you that you are imagining any type of abusive behaviour or that you are just ‘too sensitive,’ get out. You deserve to be treated with respect. It’s not worth fighting about.
You feel like you’re the only one fighting for the relationship: It’s actually not a good idea to be in a relationship if you feel like you are always fighting to remain in. However, sometimes it does make sense to try very hard for a period of time to get through a rough patch and move on. If you’re always the one putting in the effort and your partner shows minimal effort, that is a sign that it’s not worth fighting for. If you are embarrassed to tell people about the amount of effort you have to put into the relationship to keep it going, that is a sign that you may have exceeded an appropriate amount of effort.
Your personal refuses to seek help for personal issues or problems within the relationship: It takes much caring and courage to be vulnerable enough to reach out for help. We all need it sometimes. If you’re consistently feeling miserable in the relationship and your partner is unwilling to accept help, whether it’s couples counselling or addressing an addiction that is damaging the relationship, it may be time to consider leaving.
You can’t stand kissing your partner: We all know that this feeling comes and goes. Sometimes you like to kiss, other times you don’t even want your partner’s face anywhere near yours. But if your mouth is telling you that you really cannot stand to kiss your partner anymore and that feeling doesn’t change over time, it might be over.
Your close ones have serious doubts about the relationship: Who is the person that sees your relationship most clearly? The research shows that your friends actually have more insight into the state of the relationship than you do, particularly female best buddies. If they’re starting to express concerns, it can reveal underlying issues that you may not be aware of yourself.
Your partner isn’t reliable: You deserve someone you can unfailingly count on. Reliability is the sexiest quality you can hope for — a quality that is essential in an intimate partnership, as we live in a shaky and inconsistent world.
You’ve stopped making progress in other areas of your life because of the relationship: If your relationship has taken up so much emotional energy and attention that it has prevented you from moving forward with other goals such as a career, family, and friendships, that’s a sign that your relationship may not be worth fighting for. Some sacrifice is fine but the cost should be minimal and not impact your progress in other areas for an extended period of time.
Your partner dismisses your concerns: it’s not an encouraging sign if your partner is unwilling or unable to hear your feelings, your hurt, and pain and take it to heart. If your feelings and needs (for respect, kindness, communication) are coldly and consistently dismissed, if stonewalling and defensiveness are creating an impenetrable barrier, it may leave you feeling lonely, angry, or depressed, and maybe hopeless about the relationship.
If your relationship is truly bad enough to end, you’ll know right away. It’s when it hovers somewhere in the middle that things get tricky. So check in with yourself, and do some evaluating. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure things out.
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