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Why it’s taking too long to find the love you want?

Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. Most people don’t make it a goal to be single forever. Most of us want to love and a partner to share our lives with, but we mistakenly go about trying to attain this thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage of life you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory to look at the habits and choices that are helping you and the ones that are hurting you.

If you’ve been single longer than you can count and are wondering when you’re going to finally meet someone who sweeps you off your feet, then you’re officially normal.

There are many possible reasons why you haven’t found the right one yet. But the mere fact that you are still waiting doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.

Young couple tasting tomato sauce while cooking in the kitchen. Cheerful man and smiling woman holding spatula in hand ready to taste red sauce. Multiethnic couple cooking together at home.

Good dates are a date: When was the last time you went on a good first date? If you can’t exactly remember, you’re not alone. Being on your own often means going on an endless series of dates that all end the same way: with a polite “nice to meet you” and both of you going in separate directions.

It’s tiring to keep trying: If you kept dating without taking any breaks, maybe you would meet your person much sooner. But you can’t do that because you need those times to just be yourself and forget all about trying to find love. You can’t sacrifice your mental health just because you want to meet someone as soon as possible.

You have legit standards: Some might call you picky but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. You have real standards about the kind of person that you want to share your life with and that’s completely fine. You shouldn’t date just to date and that inevitably makes all this take just a bit longer.

You often get confused: Like any other single person, you’ve had your low moments. You’ve gone on more than one date with a partner even though you weren’t sure how you felt about them. All this wastes your time and takes you away from your end goal of meeting someone real so that just delays the whole thing a bit more.

It’s all a big numbers game: If you went on a date every day for a straight year, it’s totally possible that you would meet someone you really connected with. That’s a lot of dates, after all. But you don’t date that way and frankly who does? It’s hard enough to get a handful of dates a month, let alone one every week. Cut yourself some slack and remember that as long as you keep going, you’re getting somewhere.

You’re too needy: Neediness is a state of mind where you feel incomplete, or have an emotional void, and try to fill this empty space with a relationship. A lot of women confuse men’s aversion to neediness with men’s supposed aversion to commitment. But men aren’t commitment-phobes. A man will happily enter into a relationship with a woman.

You’re too picky: Most women are usually at one extreme or the other: desperate and willing to put up with anything, or too picky and unwilling to “settle” for anything less than their dream man. In this day and age, we’re saturated with unrealistic love sagas and have developed an idea of what love should be.

So it is with the magic of soulmate. Some find the direct path to their soulmates, others take the scenic route. Hold on tight. You, too, will get through the sea. Even if there’s no end in sight, keep the faith. Your intended may be just around the next bend.

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