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A quick reminder – The Perfect spouse will not complete you!

Many single men and women are hoping to be in a relationship with the hope that their lives will be complete and the gaps in their hearts will fill.

My dear single friends, we know you’re hoping to have that love of a lifetime, thinking that it’s what will complete you, making you feel happy. The relationship does make us happy and content, but it cannot complete our lives.

Historically wrong

History tells us that men and women fall in love and imitate a relationship, they find happiness in each other, but the problem doesn’t end there. We’ve heard and read stories of broken families, divorced couples, and estranged spouses. What happened to them? Didn’t they go through a romantic period? Didn’t they promise to live together forever? From history, we observe that a wife doesn’t complete a husband, and a husband doesn’t complete a wife.

asdfvdThat feeling of being complete

If you feel that you lack something in your heart, please don’t look to your spouse to fill it. We need tremendous love and support from each other every single day, and we should offer it every single day. However, our partner cannot complete us. He or she doesn’t have the power to make us whole.

The truth is that when we try to look for a lifetime partner to complete us, we will end up being incomplete just the same. Everyone is imperfect, and there’s no perfect person. When we try to overcome our imperfection by looking for someone perfect to complete us, we will find ourselves longing. We see ourselves latching on to the person we marry, thinking that he or she will complete us. When we do that, we end up taking more than giving. We end up not loving the person we fall for, and we end up falling for them for what we can benefit which is not right. We initiate a relationship because we love, we commit because we want to give ourselves to the person we love for a lifetime.

You don’t need anyone to complete you

 A happy couple consists of two people who would genuinely be perfectly fine on their own, but choose to be together because they can’t imagine not having that person to share their lives. Here’s what you need to remind yourself of, whether you’re single or in a committed relationship.

Being self-sufficient is essential: You had to grow up and leave on your own eventually, right? You did it, so why would you want to go right back to relying on someone else to complete you? You’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.

You should want to be with someone, not needed to be with them: When the thought of needing someone crosses your mind, you end up making sacrifices, and letting them walk all over you because you think that’s the price you have to pay to have them in your life. However, you don’t need anyone, and you’re just fine on your own.

No one else can make you happy: You’ve heard that you have to be happy on your own before you initiate a real relationship, and it’s true. If you feel miserably alone, a partner will just put a band-aid on the problem, not solve it.

No one else can-do certain things for you: While companionship and support certainly help, there are some things that no one else can do for you. If you want a better job, you have to go out and find one. If you aren’t happy, you have to figure out a way to change that. Relying on someone will only make things harder, what if one day they aren’t around anymore?

No one will ever be a perfect match: Your “other half” implies that people are like puzzle pieces, and there’s only one other person out there who can complete you. However, the truth is that you can get what you need from a variety of different people and expecting one person to fulfill every need is unrealistic.

asdfasfNo one else should get credit for your success: Implying you weren’t good enough when you were alone only takes away everything you ever accomplished on your own. If you work for it, you can and will get where you want to be, so stop sharing your success to the fact that you have a stable relationship to fall back.

Don’t feel desperate to find someone: If you’re frantically spending energy searching for another half, you’ll inevitably waste quite a bit of time on guys who aren’t worth it. If you’re happy on your own, your standards will be higher, and you won’t settle for less than you deserve.

No one wants to be with an incomplete person: Do you think people are out there searching for a partner to complete them? Hell no! Everyone wants to be with someone who can add more happiness to his or her lives, teach them things, and be a positive support. If you can’t be those things for someone else, how can you expect someone to be those things for you?

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