Many people believe that men and women perceive attraction differently. But, do they really? I don’t like to globalize anything, even gender preferences, because we all are unique and our visions of beauty are shaped by different things (most of the times by culture, media, family, but most importantly – by our own inner voices).

The truth is that the world is collectively obsessed with the idea that an attractive person is, first and foremost, someone who looks marvelous!

But, I cannot stay silent about that. What beauty means to you may not mean to me, right? For example, you may think about how only tall people are good looking, but I would say how petite people ‘own my heart’. And now what? Well, now nothing, we all just have our own preferences. That’s the first thing to make clear before talking about someone being attractive.

Yet, one thing is for certain. We are not only shaped by our own thoughts, visions, and inner ‘voices’, we are also shaped by our biology. So, what does one human being searches for in a partner?

The leading suggestion takes its starting point from the biological sciences: we learn that sex aims at successful reproduction and genetic fitness in the coming generation. Therefore, ‘sexiness’ must logically comprise a host of semi-conscious signals of fertility and of resistance to disease: bilateral facial symmetry, large bright pupils, full lips, youthful skin, and melanin-rich hair.

Okay, that’s fine. Our biology wants us to find a healthy partner which has good genes, right? Yes, it wants us to do that. But our main mission is not a reproduction only anymore. We are beings with intellect.

Objectively, attractive people have an advantage in this society, that’s for sure. Even if you go to a job interview, you will easily realize how those who are considered attractive have higher chances of getting that job (with the same amount of knowledge).

People find me very attractive, and I went through it all. Actually, although it may sound like your life is easier, in the end, you really don’t know whom to trust. You may (if you are smart enough), even start questioning your own capabilities. You will find yourself wondering if you got that job just because of your looks, if someone is ‘friend’ with you only because of that, or if someone is smiling at you, just because of your ‘nice body’ or is that all because of your personality? Physically attractive people are more likely to acquire those positive traits because they aren’t as traumatized as people who are insecure about their appearance.

People don’t realize how important emotional intelligence and empathy can be when talking to another human. I think we assume that everyone is very one dimensional, unlike ourselves who are very complex and have various needs.

People are not as shallow as we think…

What about intelligence, charisma, emotional maturity, communication skills, and healthy values? You must admit how those are more important than someone’s eye color, right?

Think about it a little bit deeper for a moment. With whom would you like to spend your life? Whom can you trust? Who wants to make you happy?

What my friends consider attractive, I don’t (for example). There is nothing wrong with that.

Respect your own preferences and don’t let the media change those!

Do you think that people consider something attractive just because others do?

What do you consider pretty and others don’t?