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Why did he break up with you?

One day you’re happy and in love, the next day he’s bombing you with “I think it’s not working anymore” speech. Why? We have a few real reasons why the couple split up.

You want different things: Initially, you two were just hooking up but then you developed crushes and moved into a serious relationship. One of you may want things to progress further while the other is still just into casual mode. You may want to be married in a year while he’s happy having fun. He may still be getting over his ex while you want to move into his place. Whatever the situation, it’s not that chemistry isn’t good, it’s just that you want different things out of the relationship.

Lack of trust: There are different reasons behind the lack of trust development in the relationship. One person may do something to break that trust, like tell a whopper of a lie or cheat. Or one person may just carry some trauma from past relationships where that sort of thing happened. In either case, it can be a bit like dating a wounded deer, where you want to get close and be comforting but the dynamic is too tenuous and you can’t really relax with the other person. Once a trust is broken or never fully develops, it’s hard to repair. Some people don’t want to put in the work that is required to repair trust, so they leave.

sdfsAn actual issue: Sometimes, when you honestly reflect back on what was going on pre-break-up, it can be pretty clear what happened. You two were fighting a lot, either about one big recurring issue or several smaller issues. You both said things that were incredibly hurtful. Hopefully, things didn’t get to the point of being verbally or physically abusive, but if they did then it’s a good thing you’re not together anymore.

Controlling behaviour: When you’re in love, you want to be with the one you love all the time. You want to know what he thinks about everything, and you secretly wish that he has the same likes, dislikes, and opinions as you do. But in reality, it’s not possible. Every person needs a little space to breathe. To remember who he is as an individual. If you don’t give your partner enough space to do as he pleases, he has taken his freedom back by breaking up with you. If you are ‘overly attached’ you should know that it comes from your insecurities, and it is a total attraction destroyer.

Jealousy: Being jealous is a well-known attraction killer. Jealously till a fine line is okay, but if you always fear that someone else will come and take him away from you, then he’ll have no choice but to run away. Such over jealously comes from insecurity. You don’t believe that you’re good enough for him to be only interested in you. If you did, you wouldn’t be intimidated by any other person.

Low self-esteem: If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else really love you? The way other people see you depend only on how you see yourself. Take time, look in the mirror and pay attention to your thoughts. Make a list of things you like about yourself and the things you don’t. Which list is longer? If you’re always down on yourself, your partner will eventually think like you. Some people do it to get attention, but the bottom line is that being down on yourself is unattractive.

You’re not the one: We hear this reason many times. It’s really heartbroken to not being ‘the one’ for someone you loves the most. If you’re in a long-term committed relationship and someone sits you down and says they realize they “should” want to be with you forever because you’re so great, but that in their gut they know that’s not true for them, count it as a blessing. It’s better to hear that earlier rather than later. Even if nothing is wrong in the relationship, that’s an indicator that there is nothing so right that he would want to be with you forever.

zasdBottom line – can you get him back?

No matter if you are guilty of any of your behaviour or it’s completely his fault but you’re still ready to give it a try, a relationship can’t work successfully until two people involved in the bond are happy.

What is your breakup story?

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