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Signs you’re mistaking lust for love

There’s a thin line between love and lust. You feel strongly attracted to a person, so much so that you can’t bear to be separated from him even for a moment. 

Is this love? Or just an overpowering urge to get intimate with them?

How do you know what you feel for the person isn’t something transient? 

Or something that goes beyond the physical? 

Love at first sight is not believable. Love takes time. Lust at first sight sounds much more accurate. A study done by testing the blood samples of twenty couples, who claimed to be madly in love for less than six months, revealed that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of obsessive-compulsive disorder patient. 

We hear that love is blind. But that is not true. Real love is not blind. Quite the opposite, it is a relationship in full awareness. Over time, through good communication and wisdom, you can start knowing your partner gradually. You become aware of his/her flaws and try to work your differences a healthy way. Lust, on the other, hadn’t, could be perceived as being “blind” as it usually distorts reality, especially when you’re so involved that you don’t care to find out the real persona of your partner. 

If you feel that you might be confusing lust with love, look out for the following signs:

You claim to like him/her even though you don’t know him/her very well: You guys have seen each other no more than a handful of times, and you’re convinced you’ve caught the feels for him/her. Wrong! The reality is that you barely know them. Unless you’ve already spoken about exes, old pets and how many cousins they have, it’s difficult to base emotions on physical attraction alone. If you’re genuinely attracted to someone, it’s because of the person they are inside. 

You only see each other casually: Always go around to each other’s house as a last minute kind of thing? It is a sure=sign that you maybe haven’t connected on a deeper level. If you’re purely in lust, you’re happy with casual hook-ups because your sexual attractions are on fire. But, maybe you’ve recently realized that you’re not pleased with this. Maybe you want more. 

Sex is a primary focus: When you plan to meet, which isn’t too often, your relationship seems to revolve around sex. Plain and simple! There’s not much else going on. 

You don’t really talk unless it’s to arrange a hook-up: Any communication that you have when you do not see each other is limited. Wait usually just involves making last-minute arrangements to see each other. Maybe you’ve already tried to make different conversation because you’ve caught feelings but your partner is not really feeling it or reciprocating. A lot of your texts go unanswered, and your partner is kind of difficult to pin down, which seriously sucks.

You ignore the red flags: If you’re confusing lust with love and you have an inkling that the guy might not feel the same, or want the same things as you, there have probably already been some red flags. However, at this stage, you’re choosing to ignore them. You should always trust your instincts. Perhaps you know deep down that this situation isn’t right, so you should really do something about it now before it gets even more complicated. 

You’ve only connected on a physical level: If you really think about it, you’ve only ever connected on a physical level. You haven’t had any deep and meaningful conversations or known anything of substance about him. When you see each other, and you do talk, it tends to be chitchat a predecessor to getting done and dirty. 

Being selfish: Sometimes you behave selfishly and push for your likes and desires. A classic sign of lustfulness. 

You stay away from commitment: You feel strongly attracted to this person. Yet commitment is the last thing on your mind. You aren’t particularly concerned about what the future of the relationship could possibly be. 

You’re letting your heart run away with you: Perhaps you’re secretly hoping that your situation will change and your partner will start asking you on dates and suggesting that they want commitment, but there’s no indication of that at this point. You need to ask your partner what’s up before this goes any further. You owe yourself that. There’s nothing wrong with a casual situation if both parties are into it but the worst thing you can do is continue hooking up with a person you want more, and they don’t. 

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