Committing someone special can be a big step for a relationship, but the fact that “commitment’ can mean different things to different people. While you and your partner may define commitment differently, there are a few factors that are pretty standard indicators of commitment.
Once you and your partner have discussed what commitment meant to each of you, you may start to notice a shift in the way they act. Maybe they’ll start doing things that provide you with a sense of comfort that you’re both on the same page, or at least working toward it.
They don’t want to make any future plans: if you’re in a serious, committed relationship, you and your partner are probably making plans for all sorts of things. From backpacking across Europe to where you’re going to celebrate your birthday next month, or more simple things like what you’re doing next weekend. But if your partner is unsure about their commitment to you, they may be more inclined to go with the flow or not make plans too far in advance. It’s really about maintaining their independence, freedom, and fear of being locked down to anyone’s schedule.
They refuse to attend your family functions with you: Perhaps, you have a family wedding coming up, and you excitedly ask your partner to be your plus one, only to be turned down because they have a thing that day. Making up excuses to not be your plus one to weddings, important family functions or events that are important to you is another sign that they may not be fully committed.
They don’t consider you or your relationship when making a big decision: Life doesn’t stop when you’re with someone, even if does feel like the world stops spinning when you’re together. So, of course, throughout your relationship, there may be a time when your partner gets promoted and maybe has to relocate. Ultimately, the final decision about what to do is theirs, but a committed partner would include you in the decision-making process.
They run away from discussion commitment: Maybe you’ve noticed a change in the way your partner acts around you, especially if you think it might be a reflection of their warning commitment to you. If, when you bring it up to them, they avoid engaging in communication or discussions around commitment or even getting closer in the relationship is may be a sign they’re not fully committed.
So, what next?
If you tried to approach your partner’s diminishing commitment to you in a nice way, and it didn’t exactly play out the way you wanted it to, it may be time to have an even more serious conversation with them. You need to have a painfully honest, straight talk with your partner. Tell them the truth about what you’re feeling. Ask them to be open about where they really see the relationship going. Let your partner know that you care deeply for him and need to know whether both of your needs can be satisfied in this relationship.