Different couples have different reasons to jump into an open relationship. For some, it is taken into consideration with the hope that it will revive the fire. While for others, it is a matter of practicality. Some are looking for varied sex, while some believe that they can have different kinds of love with different people. Whatever your reason is, know that open relationship is no joke. It’s kind of complicated, but if rules are maintained, it could lead to some meaningful relationships as well.
Before you cave into the temptations of an open relationship, here are some questions you should ask yourself:
What is essentially an open relationship?: It’s really important to know the answer to this question. Do you really know what is meant by an open relationship? If you are entering into it just because it sounds glamorous and offbeat, you’d be wrong. Ask yourself if you are aware of the details and nuances of such an arrangement. Basically, do your research before you take the leap.
Do you two share solid communication?: Honestly is the base of any relationship. But, when you decide to open your relationship, honesty becomes paramount. Are you two able to easily talk to each other? Do you have secrets or topics that taboo? Do you trust each other to be honest? Are you comfortable sharing anything, and everything? Because this will matter a lot. If openness is actually very important in an open relationship.
Have you discussed your feeling openly enough?: A frank discussion with your actual partner about keeping your relationship open is imperative. It should be a no holds barred discussion where you share your innermost fears and insecurities. Have you done that?
What are you open for?: Is it sex, or love? Or, both? When you agree that you can we with other people what are the boundaries that you are setting? Does your open relationship allow you to date multiple people, or just have sexual partners? Make sure you are clear about what you want, and that you discuss with each other. You may expect different things which are normal. What’s important is to keep each other in the loop, and stick to what you say.
How you are going to handle the jealousy part?: Jealousy is a part of human nature, and so is an open relationship. In other words, would you be comfortable when you see your bae showering an equal amount of affection on some other person? You may tell yourself that you can handle jealousy, but can you really?
Who will set the rules?: An open relationship is a kind of a self-regulating system. Perimeters and protocols are set on mutual consent. But if someone takes an upper hand and imposes rigorous limits on your relationships, how will you react?
What will happen if you want to get married?: You might want to opt for marriage and monogamy and the person you have fallen in love with in an open relationship is in no mood to break the arrangement. How will you tackle such a situation?
What if one of you develops the feeling?: The problem with dating and sleeping with other people aside from your spouse is the danger of falling for someone else. You need to talk about what to do next should you develop feelings. Do you end things with this person? Do you keep at it? As premature as it may seem, you need to figure out what the next step is before you even start your open relationship.
How long should this last for?: Is this something you guys are planning to do forever? Do you guys stop when you decide to have kids? Figure out a tentative timeline and go with the flow. Many couples are perfectly happy with keeping their open relationship alive forever, but there are others who only want to experiment with it for a short time.
What do you want?: This is the most important question of all. Ask yourself if being in an open relationship is something that you even want to do. Do not get into it to please your partner. Do not get into it because you are afraid of being alone if you say no. Do not get into it because you are apathetic.
Will you practice safe sex?: This is perhaps one of the most important questions to ask your partner. Find out if he or she will be practicing safe sex and insist upon it. The last thing you want to worry about is an STD or unwanted pregnancy. So lay down the law when it comes to safe sex. Remember to abide by the rules as well and do not let lust get the better of you.
Depending on how you look at it, an open relationship could be the best thing that ever happened to you. No matter what, just be sure that you are comfortable with it and never let your partner push you into doing something that you do not want to do.
