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11 Subtle Signs you’re afraid of commitment even if you really like someone

Commitment issues are one of several reasons that can keep people away from long-term relationships. It can be the result of anything ranging from mental illness or being a trauma survivor to a plain and simple choice to maintain distance. 

Whatever the reason, these signs point to someone with commitment issues who may not be ready, willing, or able to create such a connection. 

If you always need more space than your partner is giving you:

No matter how much space you get, you still feel trapped. Even when you’re in that honeymoon phase of a relationship, you’re planning to escape. 

If you avoid speaking language involving commitment:

A person with commitment issues often wants to treat everything casually. You don’t want to think of a long-time partner as a boyfriend or girlfriend, or you may have no interest in advancing a relationship past casual dating. You may seek only friends with benefits type relationships with no strings attached or may ghost your partner if they feel things are getting serious. 

If you are a poor communicator who is challenging to get in touch:

There can be several reasons for poor communication. In the context of commitment issues, it’s another deflection and defensive mechanism that helps the person maintain a comfortable distance. You may do things like not answer messages fully or maybe not answer at all. You may let your phone go to voicemail and never pick up or never call unless it’s urgent. If you are a person who can’t attend a coffee date without hesitating, you can try your luck in the virtual dating world. Just log in to http://beautifulpeopledate.com/.  

If you are overly picky about your tastes, both in friends and romantically:

High expectations can serve as an excellent shield for a person with commitment issues. The reality that we live with is that every person is going to have positive and negative qualities about them. You may use it as a defensive mechanism if you are overly picky about your taste in people. It’s easy to keep other people from getting too close if no one can ever live up to their wild expectations. 

If you are often attracted to unavailable romantic interests:

There are some people out there who claim to only experience attraction to people who are otherwise unavailable. Unavailable can mean a person is already in a relationship or currently swamped under academic or work-related loads or is not emotionally ready for a relationship or they haven’t healed from a breakup. You may jump from one unavailable crush to another unavailable crush, fleeing when it looks like that person may want to give them more time or have a deeper relationship. 

If you often avoid personal commitments, appearing flaky or inconsistent:

You may have poor time management skills. You often show up late or not at all to agreed activities. That gives you the option to absolve yourselves from the responsibility of maintaining Long-term friendship and relationships by pointing to a lack of time management skills or unreasonable expectations of your partner. You will often have different excuses for this behavior that you will use over and over instead of working to correct the issue. 

You may have a large group of casual friends, but no close friends:

Building a close friendship takes time, effort, and energy. A person with commitment issues may shy away from making that kind of time and energy investment because they feel it won’t last. You may be a social butterfly, but your social relationships are often superficial with a large number of people rather than a close relationship with few. 

If you have a history of frequent career changes:

You are not afraid of commitment only in relationships, but it extends to all aspects of life. You quickly get bored and believes that you deserve to try everything out there. One month you will enjoy working as a computer operator, next month you will be a graphic designer, again after a few months something else. The same thing happens with relationships. If you have no pattern in the types of relationship – that could be another sign. 

If you avoid meeting your partner’s friends/family:

You will avoid any events with even the slightest possibility of running into your partner’s friends and family. 

You have a fear of abandonment:

If you find that your friends are asking, ‘Was he/she an excellent match for you? Why did you let her go?” And if this happens more often, your friends must have noticed your commitment issue. 

This is a big one. Often, we don’t even realize that we have a fear of abandonment, but this fear can freeze your ability to be emotionally involved with someone, even if you like them very much. You fear to have a troubled marriage like someone you know had. There are many reasons we might be afraid to open up to a romantic relationship. 

Your friends notice it:

Some people don’t want to be tied down in any long-term arrangement with anyone. And that’s okay. People should be free to live their life the way they want. Do not expect to heal a person that you perceive to have commitment issues, because they may not have any problem at all. It’s maybe their choice on how they want to live their life. 

Are you one of them? 

Categories: Relationship
Rachana Mesvaniya:
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