We use to feel like meeting the parents of the person we love is absolutely terrifying. What if they don’t like you? What if they’ll never accept you?
How to read the signs that the timing is right for introducing your partner to your parents?
It turns out it’s not as complicated as we made it out to be in our blundering parental meets. Here’s how to be sure the time is right.
It’s all about timing: When you are in an initial phase of dating, that new relationship energy can be very powerful. You can be swept up in the honeymoon phase and feel like you’ve met the one before you even know them properly. All these powerful things may translate into you wanting to introduce them to your parent right away. Well, hold on to that thought. Instead, give the relationship a solid six months to a year before you involve your parents. Any time before that is too soon because the relationship is not clear. After 6 months of dating, you’ll know someone better and they’ll know you better. So timing is very important because there is no sense in having your parents begin to form a bond with your partner before you’re even sure you want to.
Follow the steps: Have you met their friends yet? If not, then it’s not time yet to meet the parents. Meeting friends first is important for many reasons. Reason number one is, it’s a great test run to see how the people in your partner’s life will react to you. Reason number two is, it also gives you some insight into how your new partner really feels about you. Meeting the friends is actually a bigger step than you might initially think. If they can’t wait for you to meet their BFFs, “it’s because they are proud of you and of their relationship with you, and want to show you off and show off the fact that you’re together. When this doesn’t happen, it’s often because your partner is playing the field or not interested in a commitment.”
That ‘it just natural’ vibe: Sometimes the best way to know if it’s time is to just trust your gut. If you’ve been dating long enough to know one another and feel confident that this is a person who has the potential to be a long-term partner, then it’s a right time to consider meeting mom and dad.
But this is more than just about feelings. It’s about concrete behaviours that indicate that this relationship is the real deal. Are you doing all the things that couples do, like planning vacations together, dropping cash on large mutual purchases, or planning to spend holidays together? If yes, then it’s time to include families in the bond.
Waiting for the turn: Have you met their parents? If so, that’s a good sign that the time is right. Plus, it’s also a great sign that they are serious about you. One of the clues you can use to find out how they feel about you is whether or not they’ve introduced you to their parents. If they have, it’s because they feel strongly about the relationship and want their parents’ input and approval. If you’ve already met their parents, it’s safe to suggest that they meet yours.
Conclusion: It turns out that while meeting the parents is a big deal, it doesn’t have to be scary. There’s no “perfect” time to meet your significant other’s parents, but it is something that’s going to come up in any relationship. Don’t rush in, but instead, look to the progress of the relationship to see when it’s natural to take that next step. Talk about it. Communicate. And try not to freak out too much.
P.S. – Start with the first step!
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