Together but not together, let’s check out the reality of no label relationship. So you’ve been seeing each other for a long time and everything about you two reflects as a couple, yet you are not his girlfriend. There is a spark between the two of you and it resembles a relationship, but you do not call it a relationship. You guys refuse to put a label on your relationship and it makes you feel insecure, doesn’t it? And the funniest thing about labels is when you need them the most is when you probably aren’t in the right relationship. It’s no secret that a man usually falls in love before a woman does.
A man also is usually first one to say “I Love You” to a woman. Still, dating labels for relationships mean more to a woman than they do to a man. It can be super awkward when the guy you’re dating goes to introduce you to friends and family and doesn’t know whether to call you’re his girlfriend or not. Instead, he’ll call you his good friend in public, or will tell his friends that he’s been hanging out with you, even though he knows and shows you that his feelings are deeper for you. You’ll wonder that, are we dating or just hanging around. So, the point is, if he acts like your boyfriend, takes down his dating profile, call you daily, texts you regularly, spends almost every night with you, says you’re exclusive and ready to appear with you in public, why won’t he call you his girlfriend? The similar thing could happen on girl side. It’s obvious that you’re an important part of their life, otherwise why he’d be out with friends instead of holding your hand every night.
If you’ve decided not to label the relationship it means one or both people involved has some sort of hang-up. There are some roadblocks to the formation of any functioning relationship. That could be a commitment problem or the unspoken ‘I’m still not 100% about this one’. It takes for granted that, label or not, people have feelings. It’s pretty normal when you are “with” someone to feel happy, angry, or even jealous. These feelings, though, can never be justified when you’re in the no-label zone. So imagine someone hits on the person you’re with at a bar. You feel jealous. What are you going to do? Well, you’re not officially with that person so you have only two options a) looking nuts by getting upset b) shirking off into a corner and drowning yourself in drinks. There’s this thing about a no-label relationship where there are no ground rules for behavior.
Ok, you’re with someone. You behave in a certain, socially, and acceptable way. But when that’s not the case, you find yourself out from this rule book. Is this okay? Is this not okay? Screw it we’re not together anyway. So you find yourself free from this ground rules. But remember, just because you don’t define it doesn’t mean others don’t. People around you including friends and family see you together and refer to you as a couple or ask about the other one if you’re not together at functions or parties. What do you do? Correct each person and say, “No Uncle, we’re not a couple, but we’re just going to parties together. That’s it.” Talk about awkward moments. Things you need to consider before deciding to explore the possibility of entering a label-free relationship.
No relationship can be void of feelings: Can anyone directly jump into the agreement without any feelings? Is it possible to stop our self from getting attached to someone? A non-label relationship is simply NOT an actual relationship, so your feelings of love and jealousy need to stay away from you. Can you seriously handle that? No commitment, no rules: Both partners can flirt and hit on whomever they want. There are no rules for action.
Keep only one expectation in mind and that’s zero expectation: You are supposed to have absolutely no expectations. You cannot expect to have a message from your partner at 4 AM when you can’t sleep. You won’t be with someone who will make coffee when you feel down or call you to wish good morning. How will the other people define your open relationship? That will make you more awkward when your friends and family start to ask about your relationship and you’ll have to spend a good time to explain them. Just because you both are good with no label relationship, doesn’t mean other people are.
Don’t be so overemotional about it yet. Do not give ultimatum about your relationship status to each other. Before you start the relationship talk or break up prematurely, check out following signs to determine where you fit in each other’s life.
There are many reasons why one’s afraid to attach the label to a relationship. Maybe your partner is considering you as a temporary. Either one of you or both of you likes the friends with benefits arrangements and regular sleepovers. One of you isn’t over your ex. Maybe both of you are falling in love with each other but none of you has approached to say, “I Love You”. You both might be more comfortable with the way things are casual works fine for you guys. Maybe you guys are looking for other options. Maybe one of you is not sure that you found ‘the one’. You guys might like to move slowly in a relationship and so taking along in a non-labeled relationship. Maybe the guy’s feelings are fluctuating, and he might be in conflict between being in a relationship and being a single guy. You might not fit in the future picture of each other. Maybe labels just don’t matter to you guys.
What to do when a partner is ready for the label and the other one is not?
It would be great to have a calm conversation after spending a reasonable amount of time together. Acknowledge both of your feelings about the label. Your partner might have work pressure or other issues on the mind and be completely happy with the way your relationship is heading. Express why it’s important to you to acknowledge your status as an official partner in public and how you value the relationship.
Take a moment and listen to your partner instead of getting overemotional and rambling with nervousness. Be prepared to leave the relationship if the answer isn’t what you’ve expected. If your partner says you mean the world to them but still don’t assign a label to your relationship, believe your partner at their word. Your partner might not be ready to change the Facebook relationship status or go ring shopping, but you might be on their track to falling in love.
Do relationship labels matters to you? Talk to us in the comment box!