Who should pay the bill?
Is splitting the bill on the first date is fair?
Money is about power, emotions, morality, security, and decisions concerning money are always hard. It can be hard to figure out the right thing to do when money is involved. Since the gender equality is running through the head, one of the biggest questions arises when it comes to dating – Should the guy pay?
Guys paying for dates, especially for the first date have been a long-held tradition. You’re out on a date and everything is going fine until the bill arrives. As if the whole concept of dating weren’t awkward enough, it’s getting more awkward when the waiter drops the check on the table.
You got stuck with the thoughts ‘who’s going to pay the bill?’ We all carry assumptions surrounding that first date bill and how it would be settled. The whole date could end awkwardly if those expectations aren’t met. She might feel offended if he doesn’t let her pay. He might feel annoyed if she doesn’t insist at least once to pay. This initial financial crossroads could make or break chances for a second date.
Do you know 30% of women do the fake wallet reach while they out for a first date?
Men offer to take the lead
Generally, it’s best for men to pay on a first date. Yes, even still in 2017. According to study, 55% of men said they thought the guy should pay the bill for the first date. Even if the guy who doesn’t make much money will try to impress you utmost that he can if he really likes you.
Whoever asks for the date, should be the one who pays – The golden rule
According to Emily Post’s Etiquette, the rule is “the person who asked for the date should pay the bill. At least for a first date, this is applicable unless both parties agreed to split the bill in advance.” According to study, 73% of men assume that they should pay for the first date. There are some good reasons if a woman may insist on paying for the first date. Maybe she considers it as a point of pride that she can take care of herself. Maybe she doesn’t want to feel like she owes you anything or maybe she feels guilty when guys buy her things.
“First dates? It’s up to whoever asks. After that, splinting works. But if I am planning for something special, it’s all up to me” Says 32 years old Jenifer.
“I think it is based on the rule whoever asked, will pay. This way the fun of dating will continue otherwise it would awkward to say ‘I would love to go on a fancy date with you but I don’t have enough money to split’ but after the first few dates, splitting is fair” Says 30 years old Rachel.
“First dates are always special but the ‘who pays the bill?’ part might make you awkward. I don’t mind at all to pay my part of the bill but it will be a big turnoff for me. You spent so much after that one night from the waxing, manicure, new dress, makeup and after all this at least you deserve to have nice date ending well where your man would handle the bill.” Says 25 years old Nina.
“If he picked an expensive first date, I’d do the slow reach for the wallet but give no push back. If the date is reasonably priced, I’ll push back a bit harder on splitting by asking twice.” Says 27 years old Genelia.
You simply can’t expect a free meal
“Well, I think one shouldn’t be assumed that he is going to pay. I always accepted dates only if I knew I could afford me. I am earning good enough and so I would happily pay my part of the bill” says 38 years Diana.
“I never pretended to pay the bill or even acted to reach out for my wallet. He asked for the date so he will pay. I would just sit and that’s something about standard.” Says 28 years old Julia. How would men feel if a woman offers to split the bill? We’re coming out of a long historical period of male domination, where women are paid less than men. For some, splitting the bill is a way of establishing equality. For some, this may be the strong sign of not seeing each other again.
Here are opinions of some guys.
“I’ll admit to being old-fashioned enough to pick the bill on a first date. So a repeated request would be met with an offer to let her pick up the table next time if she wants.” Says 30 years old Joy.
“I would be very glad to hear such an offer, it would tell a lot about her, but probably won’t agree on it at least not on the first date. Although I’m firm believer in evolutionary biology and historical responsibility of males to bring bread, this is 2017 and I would be extremely attracted to independent women who are genuinely interested in me as a person not as a free dinner.” Says 32 years old Martin.
“I’m fine with it. Actually, several women have paid for me and although I didn’t feel comfortable at the time, I didn’t make an issue of it. I believe relationships are all about given and take.” Says 31 years old Alexander.
What would you do if the guy you’re going on date with is making less money than you?
The situation in such cases can make you more awkward but hey, if he knows he can’t afford the place then he should have tried something else that is romantic than the fancy dinner. It’s more about the thought that someone puts into a date than the money. If someone is asking you for the outing he or she surely need to have enough power to manage it well. That’s completely another thing that you might want to split the bill.
How about these different gestures?
Girls, just because you’re not paying for the date doesn’t mean you can’t pay for anything. How about a small ice-cream treats after dinner? If you guys have a good time to seat than treating him with a cup of coffee is not a bad idea. You can also ask for a dessert treat after leaving the restaurant. This would be considered as a nice gesture. All this was for the first date or first few dates. Things work totally different once you start dating regularly or move in.
Your spouse is not your roommate and if you go into a relationship thinking everything will be equal, you might get surprised. The relationship is about given and takes, balancing life being with each other. While one partner earns bread working outside, the other one prepares a table to eat one. If one spouse works and the one stays home, there isn’t an issue of who pays what and how much as the working one will manage everything.
But when both spouses work, splitting bills and coming up with the reasonable plan is important. It’s funny how some spouses talk endlessly about love and life under moonlight but changes the topic when it turns to money. There is no wrong way or right way to split bills with your partners. The key thing is to talk about money with your spouse. For a happy financial life, you need to go along with the conversations even if they might make you feel uncomfortable.
How you guys handled the bill on the first date?
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